So I’ve decided to go out on a limb and book in a solo show in a room above a pub in Dublin. I don’t know how it’s going to go, or if anyone is going to turn up, but I’m excited.
First of all I sent out emails to a bunch of university societies, I heard back from one – the UCD Comedy Society, and some guy named Jim. He asked me how much tickets were, and I sent him a link to the event on Eventbrite.com. As I sent out that first round of twenty or so emails to all these students I noticed with disgust the kind of pleading, supplicatory tone I was naturally taking with them: “COME TO MY SHOW I’M A SERIOUS COMEDIAN I’M REALLY FUNNY YOU’LL ALL HAVE A GREAT TIME I SWEAR! PLEASE!!”
Jim never replied, and I vomited in my mouth a little.
Next were the radio stations, I hit them all with a similar blast to the students, but this time it didn’t feel as sickening because instead of trying to endear myself to some 19-year old society president, I imagined I was talking to someone maybe in their 30s – someone who Gets It. I’m twenty-fucking-six, I’m not good at talking to The Kids. I don’t like The Kids, and as much as I want them at my show, and I think they’d like my story, I do have a suspicious feeling that they won’t, at the heart of it, like me. The fucking kids.
I got a reply from some guy called David from Belfield FM who told me he’d started reading my blog and was into it, and would love to have me on his radio show. Here we go!
Then the hostels, home of the lost seekers, the dropouts, and the cravers of truth. Also plenty of half-reformed crackheads and the borderline-homeless. My People, or so I like to imagine.
On the same day that I sent out emails to the first twenty or so Dublin hostels that showed up on hostelworld.com, I also hit the student societies with a second round of emails imploring them to re-read my last email if they hadn’t already, and forgiving them in advance for this slight because, “I know the crushing anxiety of a full inbox all too well haha.”
As I wore down my fingers sanding off the paint on my ‘ctrl’, ‘c’ and ‘v’ keys, another email popped into my inbox. David again, from Belfield FM. He’s got a group of mates keen to come to the show – Legend! Also he’s involved with the campus television network and would love to have me on for an interview the night of the show, as well as on his radio show the preceding Wednesday. WE’RE IN HERE FOLKS… wait. Campus TV?
STOP IT YOU’RE ONE OF THEM AREN’T YOU!
The fucking Kids man. They’re everywhere.
I’m leaving for London on the 21st of November, feeling nervous and excited about everything in my life right now. If nothing else, at least I’ma be on TV.